well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
