Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
