it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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