Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I supernannyed him into submission
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
