We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
