I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
