Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize