i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
