i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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