I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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