He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
