Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
