Define "chronic" masturbator.
I cockslap morals
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
