rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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