Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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