I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm always down for nudity.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
