Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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