There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
