Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize