I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
