I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
where are you?
Hypothermia
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
