I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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