Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
