There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
