Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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