I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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