i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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