he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize