apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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