I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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