You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
