david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
