can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
