he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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