I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize