his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
