One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
