omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize