He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
