I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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