I wish I could teleport
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
