Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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