Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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