you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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