Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I am one with the molecules
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
