You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
