onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
