My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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