This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
