he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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