he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
