so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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