I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
you made out with another girl for some wings
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize