i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize