so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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