To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We left the knife in your bed.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
