real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My ATM looks so different sober.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
