so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
