god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
