imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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