i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
