They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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