I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
