You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
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do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
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it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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