So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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